Today, I intoduce you instead to the world’s greatest hip-hop band, GRAND BUFFET (pictured above). These guys give a damn, and were recently rated by “Street Gyrations” magazine the top lyricists in the nation. Oh, and they’re funny as hell. Lyrics from their monster jam “Pink Deadly” are posted below. FYI: “Pink Deadly” was the #2 hit in Luxembourg last year - like I said, they’re the world’s greatest and the only reason they didn’t take the top slot is because the Pope’s son (a whole different story - trust me I have the inside scoop on this juicy bit) runs a record label and greased the payola wheels of Luxembourg’s radio stations and dance halls, offering mafia-supplied cash and access to the Vatican’s secret sex chambers, propelling his pet band, Quick Tricks with an Open Mouth, to the top spot.

PINK DEADLY - GRAND BUFFET

I was thinking of a parable last night, the one with the wise crow

Sitting by the accent light with my exacto
Ears splitting, stereo heat wave emitting

Motivation to move the sharp blade

Down the construction paper page rounding the edges out

Until the lion mask was made

And when the downbeat played I would command

Every ground beef kid and briefcase business man

Twilight comes nightcap lies flat

Over an old bed spread, dreamscapes with hi-hats

Metropolis chitchat, don’t let it brand me

Run along stop eating medicated candy

Charm school regrets bets that I placed and lost

My right arm’s regarded as a saint in ring toss

Spanning the globe on a tanning bed

Wearing a helmet to insulate the bullshit in my head

Driving a Malibu tank through edited scenes

A steady diet of beans and franks and Marines

I’m happening, not meaning in a fashionable sense

But if your car breaks my flight path I’m making a dent

So riddle me this, why is it griddle cakes taste so good,

After a night of capture the flag in the deep woods?

Jaminator pro, Casio rap control

Death by shark attack, that’s my final goal

I seen a monster in my backyard on the swing set

He said, “Sir I’m taking this with me.”

I said, “That’s some bullshit. I’ve got the wherewithal

Got power in my veins, got rugged hands

That stuff belongs to my two kids

I want your ass up off my land.

Tags: friends, music, Ruminations

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 20th, 2007 at 2:10 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.